Ward Sutton re-imagines the comics page through the eyes of the Tea Party. Hilarious.

America’s Finest News Source reports:

According to a poll released Tuesday, nearly 20 percent of U.S. citizens now believe Barack Obama is a cactus, the most Americans to identify the president as a water- retaining desert plant since he took office.

…When asked why they agreed with the statement “President Obama is a large succulent plant composed of specialized cells designed for water retention in arid climates,” many responded that they “just know,” claiming the president only acts like a human being for political purposes and is truly a cactus at heart.

White House officials have asserted that the nation’s 44th president is a person.

“You can’t go a day without hearing how Obama’s a radical cactus sympathizer who wants to sap America of all its drinking water, or how he was actually born in the Kalahari Desert,” said media critic Lynn Pelmont, referring to cable news outlets that suggest the president has prickly spines he uses to protect himself from thirsty animals.

Alaska candidate for Senate and Tea Party darling Joe Miller has called for an end to government spending and the “welfare state”. So when a blog claimed last week that he received federal farm subsidies, his campaign called it a “manufactured story from a Democratic blog”.

Of course, they seem to have forgotten about… what do you call them… facts. You know, the things that aren’t opinion. Like the fact that a Freedom of Information Act request verified that Miller received federal money from 1991 through 1997.

Oh. Right. Miller’s campaign, um, now acknowledges that he got, um, federal subsidies.

Read on at the AP.

As Steven Colbert would say, the truthiness of the matter is that Miller didn’t take any federal handouts, because that’s what feels right in the gut. Unfortunately for Miller, that’s not the truth.

Tea Party darling and GOP candidate for Senate, Christine O’Donnell, said a few things on Politically Incorrect back in 1999 that might not endear her to the values crowd.

“I dabbled into witchcraft. I never joined a coven,” she said. ” … I hung around people who were doing these things. I’m not making this stuff up. I know what they told me they do,” she said.

“… One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar, and I didn’t know it. I mean, there’s little blood there and stuff like that,” she said. “We went to a movie and then had a little midnight picnic on a satanic altar.”

This might be one of the most brilliant ideas I’ve read in quite a while.

For years I have been trying to persuade supporters of the other major American party to change their mind and vote with me, to no avail. That is, until last week, when three politically minded friends came over for an evening of snacks and politics, and, halfway through the evening, I unleashed my new one-two approach to political persuasion.

…I presented my friends with a list of numbers. To overcome bias, I used symbols (A, B, C and D) to represent the two major parties under the two categories. All state-related numbers (including those for the District of Columbia) are per person.

Go ahead and read the data.

Jobs: Since 1960, each of the A Party administrations has delivered higher rates of jobs creation than any of the B Party administrations.

Deficit: Since 1960, the deficit each of the A Party administrations has passed to its successor was lower than the one it inherited, while each of the B Party administrations has increased the deficit. The average yearly deficit under the B Party administrations was 277 percent higher than the average deficit under the A Party.

Productivity: The gross state product of the 20 states that voted for the A Party candidate at least 5 times out of the last 8 elections (let’s call them the A states) is 15 percent higher than the other states (the B states).

It goes on like that with many more data points before giving you the results.

Dems in the Bay State go to the polls tomorrow for the primary. One of the contested races is for State Auditor.

Guy Glodis has been campaigning all over. Here’s why you shouldn’t vote for him:

And Glodis is generating controversy over his decision to distribute what Muslim activists charge was a racist flier to his 39 Senate colleagues. On June 25, the pol sent out an e-mail with the message, “Thought this might be of interest to you.” To it, he attached a leaflet purporting to tell the story of General “Black Jack” Pershing, a US military man stationed in the Philippines. In 1913, so the story goes, Pershing was combating his own brand of terrorism: “Muslim extremists.” He executed 49 of them with bullets soaked in pig’s blood because Muslims believe, the flier states, “touching a pig … is to be instantly barred from paradise (and those virgins) and doomed to hell.” Then, he buried their bodies in pig entrails — an act that supposedly deterred terrorism for 42 years. The flier closes with this final sentiment: “Maybe it is time for this segment of history to repeat itself, maybe in Iraq? The question, where do we find another Black Jack Pershing?”

The Phoenix endorses Suzanne Bump instead.

I, along with several others from the Bray staff and some select members of the liberal media elite, have teamed up for a new project: Progress Points.

The right is, admittedly, really good at framing and in coming up with sound-bite clips that advance their cause and frame the debate. The left, less so. Progress Points hopes to change that, by providing sound-bite-length talking points for progressives. Twitter, with its 140-character limit, is an ideal medium for that.

So check it out at http://twitter.com/progresspoints. Reuse, repeat, retweet!